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Week 9 Big Ten Power Poll: Paint Colors
This blog post, titled "Week 9 Big Ten Power Poll: Paint Colors," provides a creative and lighthearted ranking of Big Ten football teams using Sherwin-Williams paint colors. The author, Kate Smith, explains that the rankings are based on "vibes" derived from the paint color names or the colors themselves, acknowledging the subjective nature of the exercise. The post begins with a brief apology for the absence of a power poll the previous week due to personal reasons and then presents the Week 8 rankings. The author shares a personal anecdote about installing a new storm door and painting her front door a shade of "Youthful Coral," which inspired the paint color theme for this week's power poll, chosen over an alternative theme of "Things You Can Find at Menards."
Each of the 18 Big Ten teams is assigned a specific Sherwin-Williams paint color, accompanied by a witty and often sarcastic commentary linking the color to the team's performance, reputation, or a relevant Big Ten football meme. For instance, Indiana, ranked first, is assigned "Baked Cookie," with a humorous reference to the mid-2000s aesthetic and the Bill Lynch era of Indiana football. Ohio State, ranked second, gets "Black Magic," humorously associated with their perceived ruthlessness and coach Ryan Day's beard. Oregon is assigned "Envy," reflecting the sentiment of other teams towards their success and Nike funding. Iowa's "Lucky Green" alludes to the team's occasional reliance on luck and Coach Kirk Ferentz's "Just Enough" philosophy. USC, ranked fifth, is given "Surfin'" due to the perceived scarcity of their fans in the Midwest and a humorous dig at their loss to Notre Dame, attributing it to rain.
Michigan is humorously assigned "Oat Milk," a color chosen to spite former coach Jim Harbaugh, referencing his infamous quote about "candy-ass skim milk." Washington receives "Dignity Blue," with commentary on the actual color's appearance versus its description and a note on their recent "pantsing" by Michigan. Nebraska is assigned "Gauzy White," initially a joke about their "surrender white" uniforms and line play, adapted after a recent win. Illinois gets a playful mix-up of "Navel/Naval," linking the calming blue to a bedroom choice and the less soporific "Navel" to the team's inconsistent nature. Northwestern is assigned "Radiant Lilac," described as "The Loneliest Color™" by Sherwin-Williams, connecting it to the team's initially dubious season and subsequent improvement.
UCLA is given "Fun Yellow," a seemingly uninspired name that, according to the author, paradoxically reflects the team's unexpected fun season. Minnesota receives "Offbeat Green," humorously described as a "hideous" color reflecting the author's annoyance with the team's performance against her own. Maryland is assigned "Gray October," a perfectly seasonal and fittingly "cursed" color for the team. Rutgers gets "Mud Slide," a color from Sherwin-Williams' vinyl paint collection, symbolizing their "ignominious slide" in the conference. Michigan State is assigned "Tanker," emphasizing the "tank" aspect of their season and coaching challenges. Penn State receives "Snicker," a short and sarcastic comment about their bye week being their best performance. Finally, Purdue is given "Weeping," completing the bottom tier with a humorous hypothetical conversation about HOA paint regulations. Wisconsin rounds out the list with "Speechless," referencing the administration's support for an "embattled" coach and his uninspiring press conferences. The post serves as a satirical commentary on the Big Ten football landscape, using paint colors as a unique lens.
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