Calls You "Mama" & Other Mom Friend Beige Flags
The article explores the concept of "beige flags," a trending term on TikTok, and applies it to the context of "Mom Friends." A beige flag is defined as an odd or quirky quality observed in someone that is neither inherently good nor bad, but rather something that gives one pause without necessarily being a dealbreaker. The author notes that while the term is most often used in dating, it is equally applicable to other important relationships, such as friendships among mothers.
The discussion differentiates beige flags from "red flags," which are clear indicators of problematic behavior that should not be ignored. Examples of red flags for Mom Friends include chronic lateness and forgetting wallets, allowing a child to watch inappropriate content, not believing in the contagiousness of ringworm, promoting multi-level marketing schemes, or having a picture of another friend's husband as a screensaver. These actions are described as definite friendship-enders.
In contrast, beige flags are presented as minor quirks that might be slightly off-putting but do not severely impact the friendship. The author provides a list of specific examples of beige flags observed in Mom Friends. These include a Mom Friend who always sits in the backseat next to her child while the father drives, has an obnoxiously loud ringtone of Billy Joel's "The Piano Man," or offers food pulled from her pocket. Other beige flags mentioned are consistently calling friends "mama," a child who always has a blue popsicle stain around their mouth (suggesting excessive consumption), or engaging in loud whisper-fights with a spouse in front of others.
Further examples of Mom Friend beige flags include wearing the same "Got Milk?" t-shirt to every playdate, not caring that magic markers lack caps, refusing to let a child use a slide for "religious reasons," giving expensive gifts wrapped in aluminum foil, or confessing to a recurring nightmare involving Ed Sheeran. More personal quirks include kissing friends' ears when hugging, a husband using floss picks while discussing bitcoin, wearing expensive sneakers to a formal event like a first Communion, or inviting friends to Chuck E. Cheese without children. The list also includes a Mom Friend who refers to her husband as "my lover, Kyle," loudly sucks on a candy necklace during meetings, or attempts to discuss "period sex" while toddlers are playing nearby. The author humorously admits to being guilty of the last beige flag herself.
The article concludes by emphasizing the value of finding compatible Mom Friends who share common interests, such as a mutual admiration for Harry Styles or a dislike for specific movies, and who are non-judgmental about parenting choices. The author expresses a willingness to overlook many beige flags for the sake of such friendships, with the sole exception being an invitation to participate in selling leggings.
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