Miss Manners: Is it ‘narcissistic’ to hang framed portraits of yourself in your living room?
The article presents a question posed to Miss Manners regarding the appropriateness of displaying framed portraits of oneself in a living room. The reader, identifying as someone who engages in taking selfies, acknowledges that these digital photos typically remain on a phone or social media. However, the reader contrasts this with the practice of their grandparents and great-grandparents, who prominently displayed large, framed studio portraits of themselves in their homes. This historical context establishes that such displays were once common, even a tradition within the reader's family, spanning three generations.
The reader expresses a desire to continue this family tradition by commissioning and displaying a professionally composed and framed photograph of themselves and their spouse. The primary concern raised is whether this act would be perceived as narcissistic in the current social climate, especially given the prevalence of digital self-portraits (selfies) which are often shared widely online. The question highlights a perceived shift in social norms regarding self-display, moving from physical, curated portraits to more spontaneous, digital images shared on social platforms.
Miss Manners responds by questioning the reader's premise that displaying framed portraits of oneself is narcissistic in the 'Era of Selfies.' She suggests that publicly posting selfies on social media, where they are visible to a broad audience, could be considered a more overt form of self-display than having a framed photo in one's private living room. This counter-argument aims to reframe the concept of narcissism in the context of contemporary digital culture versus traditional home decor practices.
Historically, painted portraits of individuals were deemed acceptable, not necessarily because of the subject matter itself, but rather for their artistic merit, even if the subjects were the commissioners. Miss Manners advises the reader to avoid displaying images that might be perceived as overtly self-aggrandizing, such as shaking hands with a president or showcasing personal achievements like a large fish catch. However, she concludes by stating that in modern times, modesty is often not valued as a virtue but rather seen as a lack of self-esteem, implying that displaying a personal portrait is unlikely to draw significant criticism or be labeled as narcissistic. The advice column addresses the evolving social etiquette surrounding self-representation in both private and public spheres, ultimately offering reassurance that continuing a family tradition of displaying framed portraits is acceptable.
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