
The best $79 I ever spent: Paint for my very own bedroom walls
The author recounts her journey of self-discovery and healing through the act of painting her bedroom walls. Growing up in a three-bedroom home in Johannesburg, South Africa, she shared a bedroom with her younger sister, which limited her personal space and privacy, making it difficult to process emotions. As an "awkward, quirky Black girl" and the eldest daughter, she felt isolated and struggled to express herself, often finding solace in reading fiction. She noted that her family relied on prayer as a coping mechanism, and the idea of actively pursuing self-recovery was foreign to her.
Upon turning 18, she inherited her brother's bedroom, which was in a state of disarray with dirty baby blue walls and clutter. This environment reflected her internal state, prompting her to realize the need for self-care beyond mere physical rest. She questioned why she didn't utilize her own space for creative pursuits, such as writing, and recognized the importance of finding joy in mundane daily activities. This realization led her to seek a fresh start within her own space, a luxury many women in her family had never experienced.
Her inspiration came from Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir, *Eat Pray Love*, which she discovered through its film adaptation and later read in hard copy before the pandemic. Gilbert's emphasis on stillness and self-listening resonated deeply, particularly a passage describing a personal recovery space painted in warm colors and adorned with fresh flowers. This passage made the author understand that she had never created a safe, nurturing environment for her own emotional healing at home.
Fueled by her first full-time salary as a content writer, she decided to invest in her well-being. She allocated $79 from her $387 earnings to buy three buckets of paint. This decision was not about indulgence but about self-care, a concept she learned from the women in her family who, despite limited finances, always set aside a small amount for themselves. With her mother's help, she chose a cream white paint to replace the baby blue walls, a choice that symbolized a new beginning and allowed her to create a space that felt restorative and empowering. The act of painting transformed her room into a sanctuary, a place where the sunlight was welcomed, and the walls metaphorically 'carried' her.
She hung a black-and-white photograph of herself in the newly painted room, symbolizing her worth and the importance of documenting her own story. This act connected her to Alice Walker's essay "In Search of Our Mothers' Gardens," which highlighted the struggles of Black women throughout history who were denied the freedom to express their talents. The author recognized her responsibility to heal ancestral trauma through her own self-expression and care. Her cream white room with a dandelion yellow duvet became her personal antidote, a testament to the influence of her upbringing, the literary inspiration of Gilbert and Walker, and her personal journey toward self-love and new beginnings.
#SelfCare #PersonalGrowth #HomeImprovement #HealingJourney #CulturalIdentity #FinancialFreedom #LiteraryInfluence #WomenEmpowerment #Johannesburg #SelfCare #PersonalGrowth #HomeImprovement #HealingJourney #CulturalIdentity #FinancialFreedom #LiteraryInfluence #WomenEmpowerment #Johannesburg
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